woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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