the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
