Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
