drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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