I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
