oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
