my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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