oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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