That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
