Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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