great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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