If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My dick has a subreddit
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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