I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
