I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
