Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
