If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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