cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
