Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
