Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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