Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
