My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
