Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
