this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
