If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
honey bunches of taint.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
