no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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