I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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