everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
