That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
