That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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