Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
