worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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