atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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