Christians are straight up FREAKS
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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