i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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