Banned from zoo.
Again?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
