it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I love having hate sex.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
