Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
