sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
