i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
