508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
