let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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