when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
