dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
