When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
