The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
