He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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