dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
