If that was your dad, he is hot
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
