Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
