The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
